The Scene, World End Distillery, 459 Kings Road, SW10 0LR - 0203 362 3362

Some of you might have some legitimate grievances with this Blog. It probably isn't due to the long winded anecdotes that introduce reviews or the substandard quality of writing but the fact that you fail to see the link between punk music and eating out. The answer is togetherness. When I finished university for the first time I was very fortunate that a large proportion of my mates moved to London to take jobs. As a result one of my dear friends, before he embarked in throwing himself off bikes and trying to collect every credit card like Panini football stickers, Bearded and I instigated this thing called the "Culinary Tour". Each week we would choose a nations cuisine and get all the uni crew together with their respective partners to go out and eat, drink and most of all laugh. This sense of togetherness and belonging is a similar feeling to when you're standing in the middle of a crowd at a punk gig where everyone comes out for a common goal, to raise their fist in the air and enjoy a damn good evening with like minded people. At the height of the "Culinary Tour" we were getting 20 people out each week. It was so populalr that we nearly caused the waiter at an Ethiopian restaurant in Oval to have a nervous breakdown as we all wanted to pay by card, however as the pressures of work and the inevitable girlfriends and babies got in the way the "Culinary Tour" subsided. Five years since its inception it has been reprised (sort of) as Bearded and myself have recruited our hard moisturising, Bollywood film star look alike friend, Shantilal, to hunt out the best Tex Mex restaurants we can find.

Shantilal, Bearded and I love ribs. It's a fact, we're a rib-a-holics. Shantilal admitted last night that he used to liberate ready cooked ribs from a famous supermarket that he used to work at, a Che Guevara rib freedom fighter if you will. In fact if Dickens had wrote the book "A Tale of Two Ribies" we would ensure that it was a best seller. Our latest quest for BBQ pork based perfection brought us to The Scene at the top of London's epicentre for yummy mummy's the Kings Road. The Scene occupies a bizarre location. it is dwarfed by the World's End Estate which has many of the problems that an inner city London conurbation suffers from (I worked in a school on the estate for 4 months) but across the road you have the Ferrari's and Rolls Royce's parked outside exclusive boutique shops and galleries. The Scene occupies the old site of the World's End Distillery a previously fairly rough pub and has converted itself into a three tier dining experience. The upstairs is called the Summerhouse and specialises in serving seafood in a setting that resembles a twee English seaside town, the impressive looking basement can be reserved for private parties, we ate at The Scene whose walls are decorated like an American cinema and a wide screen TV was showing the seminal Brat Pack classic The Breakfast Club. A real cool setting with some tables outside, ticking all the boxes so far.

Unfortunately The Scene let us down a little. We've been twice now and we were surprised that in a one month period the menu had changed. Gone were the hot and spicy chicken wings and the Chinese marinaded spare ribs that we had last time, both of which were packed full of flavour and replaced with a slightly substandard Tex Mex fair you could find in most chain restaurants. We ordered a round of BBQ chicken wings (£5.50) for the table, they were as described "deep fried and slathered in BBQ sauce" however the wings were a little skimpy with not much meat on them. The were served with the obligatory celery (which came out curly quite bizarrely) and the blue cheese dressing. Maybe it's my pallete but the combination of BBQ and blue cheese didn't quite work. We all then went for the BBQ baby back ribs (£13.50) which were served on a bed of coleslaw which turned the underside of the ribs all creamy. The ribs had been rubbed prior to cooking but like the wings they just didn't feel substantial and the smaller ribs at the end were overdone, bordering on burnt. For £13.50 a portion you would expect your ribs to have some starches with it but we had to order some home fries (squares of potatoes, deep fried topped with an interesting salt and coriander gremolata thing) and some well tasty onion rings both of which came in at £3.25 each. We all had the Chocolate Brownie at the end which was moist and warm but the ice crystals in the vanilla ice cream leads me to believe that it had been refrozen.

Maybe we just caught The Scene on a bad night? The first time we went the food was much better. The other stuff coming out of the kitchen did look really tasty especially the chicken cobb and BBQ bacon burger however we left a tad disappointed. The positives include a really great range of American beers, including the excellent Brooklyn Lager on tap (£3.90) and the delightfully hoppy Sierra Nevada Pale Ale (£3.50) and for those who like the alcoholic and sweet combination a range of hard shakes.

All in all a cool place to drink but not so great to eat.

Food: 6/10
Service: 8/10
Value for money: 5/10
Why should I go?: Because the drinks are cool and it provides a good contrast with some of the areas other eateries.
http://www.theworldsend.co/

Kiraku - 8 Station Parade, Ealing Common, W5 3LD - 0208 992 2848

I absolutely love Japanese food, there is just something so intrinsically sexy about it. Last summer my long standing and suffering girlfriend and I (from here on in known as The Admiral because she looks like the admiral off the car insurance adverts) went to Japan for a month and ate so much that we could have been called up to the British sumo team. Walk around any major Japanese city and you can't help but fall in love with the food, it seduces you. The red lanterns hanging outside the Izakaya's are completely more attractive to me than any red light district in the world. As soon as you open the door you are greeted with a blast of grilled Yakitori, and if we are being honest there is nothing more sexy than the smell of grilled meat. You sit huddled up next to random strangers in tiny booths skin often touching together, you're so excited that the hostess has to bring you a cold towel just so you can focus on the menu. An obligatory Kirin Ichiban comes over in a frosted glass and you gulp thirstily. Soy sauce and wasabi are organised into delicate bowls and you snap your wooden chopsticks apart in anticipation. At this point I am just about to reach a gastronomic climax and I haven't even got my food yet. I could tell you about the melt in the mouth Kobe beef at Serenya in Tokyo, the slabs of yellow tail and salmon sashimi dragged straight out of the Tsukuji fish market, the singular massive scallop staring up to me longingly from a plate of seafood yaki soba in an Izakaya in Kyoto or the course after course of exquisite and often strange dishes that form the part of a kaiseki meal, but I won't for fear of me actually needing urgent medical attention...

Unfortunately all that wonderful food is only available some 13,000 miles away...this however is London. Japanese food in London upsets me. You can buy sushi in supermarkets that would make any self respecting Japanese person fall on their chopsticks in a bout of hari kari (California Roll you are a bastard). Yo Sushi and all its conveyor belt brethren holds as much appeal to me as sitting on a luggage carousel at Heathrow airport eating the contents of a tin of tuna. Nobu once turned me away because I was wearing shorts! Thankfully there are some saving graces. To find the best Japanese food you have to find the restaurants full of Japanese people and safe to say the West London sushi mecca that is Ealing Common is the place. Ealing Common has a Japanese school, a Japanese hairdresser, 2 excellent Japanese supermarkets, a Japanese bookstore and the first Nando's that was opened in the UK (spot the odd one out)... The jewel in the crown of this mini Miyajima is definitely Kiraku (sorry Atari Ya)...

First rule of Kiraku is you have to book, sitting at the sushi bar is a cool experience but be prepared to have your meal disturbed by shouts of "Irrashimaie" (welcome) as each new customer comes through the unassuming restaurant door. Second rule is don't come on a Monday because it is closed! Upon sitting down make sure you take advantage of one of the ranges of hot and cold sakes available, or if like the Admiral and I just start knocking back the delicious Japanese beers (£3.50), if you are not a boozer try the amusingly titled Calpis, it's Japanese cream soda and is lovely. You are often brought a small amuse bouche and a cold towel before having a look at the extensive menu.

Kiraku offers a tapas style experience avoiding the rigid starter, main course, dessert protocol. It also provides an opportunity to completely gorge yourself. We always kick things off with the Koebi Na Kaarage (deep fried shrimps) which are tiny morcels of shrimp goodness that are so addictive that they could easily be a heroin substitute. We also like the Tofu Steak which comes flecked with smoky bonito flakes and if available on the specials menu Tako Yaki (octopus balls, not octopus testicles but pieces of octopus in a light batter served with okonomiyaki sauce and mayonnaise). I normally have a problem with picture menus but at Kiraku the food is beautifully presented that it deserves to be photographed.

Sushi is our next course as the Admiral (she loves the sea) and I decided to treat ourself to the truly decadent Dragon Roll, a California Roll (sorry old friend, all is forgiven) topped with half an eel brushed with teriyaki sauce. Special mention must also go to the Soft Shell Crab which my mum refuses to eat on the grounds that the perfectly panko-ed crab looks like a spider...bless her. Sashimi is also the Tako's Yaki's at Kiraku as their Sashi Mori Special contained arguably the best Toro i've had, even in Japan! Saying that the sushi is not cheap at Kiraku at £15.00 for a Dragon Roll, and £42.00 for the deluxe sashimi set however you can order items individually for smaller cost.

The rest of the menu is your standard Japanese fair that you could pull out of any Izakaya in Japan. Katsu curries come lavishy hot, sweet and crunchy over perfectly steamed rice, Tempura comes perfectly crisp and without a hint of grease, Yakitori and Kushiage come expertly grilled (however whenever I've ordered the chicken cartilage yakitori they never have it) and for those a tad less adventurous in plunging into a tasty plate of horse mackerel or the delicious deep fried oysters (Kaki Fry) you can get a wide range of noodles and rice dishes.

For me Kiraku reminds me of good times in Japan. For those who rarely eat Japanese food the staff are helpful and will guide you through the menu. The place is always rammed with ruddy faced Japanese businessmen and I can think of no higher endorsement. The food is expensive, the Admiral and I will always spend about £70 even with only one beer but then we are greedy and find ourselves carried away with the freshness of the fish and the authenticity of the food. Anyways it beats the wasabi out of Nando's across the road.

Food: 9/10
Service: 8/10
Value for money: 8/10
Why should I go?: Because they let you in wearing shorts....
http://www.kiraku.co.uk/

Spraynard - Funtitled

I don't look like a primary school teacher, most of the time I don't act like a primary school teacher. People think I should be a bouncer or someone who looks after the bears in the zoo however I truly love my job. Most of my mates think teaching is a soft touch. I get the usual banter that I only work from 9am-3.30pm (crap), spend my days playing with PVA glue and sugar paper (partial crap) and always end up covered in glitter and sequins (only at weekends). In reality teachers have to wear many hats, not only do we have to keep 30 little people entertained about such riveting subjects as 3D shapes and local traffic studies but we also have to be social workers, educational psychologists, clowns and most of all a trusted confidant. My school is situated in a less than solubrious part of West London which is only good if you like fried chicken shops, bookies and Greggs (for American readers Greggs is a "bakery" that serves entrails in filo pastry) still despite coming from all around the globe, having less than easy upbringings and speaking many languages the children come through the gates with a smile on their faces.

Sometimes, with such a weight of responsibilty on my shoulders, it gets me down or is it just a case of me being a white suburban male and blaming everything else when I fail?. Couple this with a bitchy environment where some colleagues are more concerned with their perceived authority or riding a wave of self promotion, it can be a really challenging job. Why do I do it? What the hell has this got to do to about Spraynard's follow up to 2010's Cut and Paste? It's the glue that holds me there (listen to O.R They [track 3] to understand the long winded intro!)

Spraynard are the sort of band you need in your life. The three piece out of West Chester, Pennsylvania (wasn't Viva La Bam set there?) produce produce a brand of life affirming pop punk that sounds like Latterman suckling at the breast of The Get Up Kids (Something To Write Home About era...)  and for me fuels a sense of positivity that can drive me through any problems the day may lay at my feet. As soon as I heard the line "Today I'm proving I am more than a collection of comic books or a high score on that screen" on the stand out Denver Broncos vs Denver Broncos I knew I was listening to something awesome. The current generation of secondary school leavers have no Ferris Bueller's Day Off to understand this reference but the whole of Funtitled sounds like a soundtrack to the last days you ever have at high school. Little Green Ghouls rallying cry of "i'll prove I am something" brought me straight back to when I left the precious cocoon of my school and realised I would have to make it in the big bad world with nothing but some grades and the hair on the back of my neck standing on end... For me, even at the age of 27, Pat, Pat and Mark have produced a lively, thought provoking album that doesn't descend into the slushy realms of teenage angst or need to resort to the cliches of cliques and alienation that purvey the genre. Play it loud, play it often, raise a fist in the air and learn all the words (backpacks are optional).

Track 5 is entitled We're Pretty Nice Guys, I'm sure they are and they can write one hell of a pop punk album.

8.5/10

Available on Asian Man Records/Runner Up Records.

Leatherface - Viva La Arthouse

There are certain things in life that make me really happy. Nothing gives me greater pleasure than getting into bed, it doesn't even have to be my own bed as there is a slight thrill in getting to know the intimate lumps of a strange mattress and the varying crispness of sheets and the obligatory pillowcase. Some people approach different beds with a degree of caution. I've seen people in hostels turn their noses up at bunk beds and exclaim "i'm not sleeping there, who knows who has had their greasy head on that pillow?". To those people I urge them to just dive in and embrace what is unfamiliar because in the end you're just going to wriggle down, relax and let yourself drift into a state of peace and relaxation... Just like a Leatherface live album...

Now Leatherface make me really happy... Frankie Norman Warsaw Stubbs and the rest of the Mackem hellraisers have been a massive part of my life for a long while now. If they released a brown paper bag full of shit with their name on the front in crayon I would still buy it. Stubbs' gravelly and raw voice reminds me of the strange beds mentioned previously, you shouldn't find them so comforting and relaxing but you just do... At a one Leatherface gig I was honoured to be at, Stubbsy was so pissed that he waded into the crowd during Little White God and smacked a bloke in the face whilst sneering that he was a "Little White C**t" on the grounds the bloke accidentally hit Stubbsy in the mouth with his own mic stand.... good times. 

Viva La Arthouse manages to harness all the chaos and craftsmanship of a Leatherface live show but still contain the Northern charm and British cultural references that purvey all of Leatherface's discography (see the chants of "Stevie Bruce's red and white army" throughout the end of Hops and Barley, a reference to the dough faced Sunderland manager). The legendary Arthouse in Melbourne provides the backdrop for this live album and allows some light hearted xenophobic Stubbs banter between songs "this kangaroo meat is really having an affect on me". The setlist is cracking encompassing most of the material from the latest album The Stormy Petrel all the way back to the simply cracking Peasant in Paradise from 1996's Fill Your Boots. Some people might moan about the sound quality on the record but if we're being honest a lot of the fun in listening to Leatherface is working out just what Stubbs and the boys are going on about. If you have a look at some of the lyrics of Dead Industrial Atmosphere you can actually feel the destruction of some of England's northern industry in Frankie's vitriol whereas the frenetic intro to Watching You Sleep puts you in the mind of a drunken blur as you nail the whiskey thinking about all the women that slipped away in your life "he bought you flowers, I bought you drink, you can't drink flowers but flowers can drink"...

Do I have some complaints about Viva La Arthouse? Well yeah, there's no Andy, Deep Green Beautiful Levelling or Pandora's Box but then I'm just being well ungrateful. The ramshackle version of the NIN/Johnny Cash song Hurt at the end wouldn't be my way of ending the album after a blistering Springtime and Hops and Barley (seeing them in Dusseldorf recently they ended on You Are My Sunshine) but what do you want from a band that have cemented themselves as punk royalty? In conclusion a really good introduction for those who are uninitiated to an amazing band, you won't want to go to bed whilst listening to it...

8.5/10

Available from Big Ugly Fish Records